Relationships / Uncategorised

Heartbreak- Pain or A Lesson

Everyone once in their lifetime is going to go through a heartbreak, rejection and will have to deal with a breakup and move on.
Now here, there are two choices, you can either learn a life lesson from it or completely sink in a downward spiral of negativity. And if you are reading this article, it’s good news that you my friend are going to learn a lesson and I am going to help you with that.

What’s the problem?

Before moving towards the solution, let’s first look at the problem. So, whether you are rejected by a girl/boy, friend-zoned, have broken up with somebody it’s one and the same, there was a person who you loved and had your emotions attached. You had a lot of expectations, memories about the person, the most important thing is you made that person, the center of your world i.e the top priority.

Here’s where you pushed yourself into this, that’s the reason you are feeling this pain, anxiety. You desperately want that person back and in this desperation, people develop some stupid mindsets, so let’s first look at those mindsets.

Stupid mindset 1

I am less, I am inferior, that person was just perfect, I have to change myself for that person. I’ll change everything, I’ll change my behavior, habits, likes and dislikes so that I can live with that person.
Now, this is the biggest misconception and this gives birth to a stupid pursuit that people get into, just to win over that person.

How to solve this?

It’s pretty simple, you just have to say rejections are normal. If you are selecting an ice cream flavour, you don’t give a damn about flavours you reject, it’s that simple.
People change over time, with experiences so you may have a bond with a person, but now that person just doesn’t feel like staying with you.
Every person has a genotype, personality type, fascination and kinks, things in their unconscious that control their actions.

Even you don’t give a single thought before rejecting something or someone so don’t be so harsh on yourself, it’s just like, lock and keys, not every key can unlock every other lock in the world.
So once you say that the person that rejected you is just like you, a human with a flaw, things become simple and light.

Stupid mindset 2

Now that he/she has rejected me, let’s take revenge. This is another mistake. Many people develop this anger and hatred for the person and what they do is, they either make them feel guilty by putting emotional social media status or try to become successful so that, the person who rejected suffers, regrets the decision.

How to solve this?

Simple! View life as a TV series, you are the protagonist of your TV series, that person is another TV series, the time that you spent together was a beautiful crossover episode, but now that episode has ended, that character doesn’t exist so whatever you do is only going to affect your Season finale, not his/hers.

Stupid mindset 3

Now that I am single, I will replace those emotions for him/her by bringing another person in my life, I’ll just hunt for new mates, I’ll download all dating apps.
Problem with this is you are hurt, desperate and clingy, you’ll translate those traits in the next relationship and miserably end that too and be in the same spot.

How to solve this?

You have to take time off, you have to see life from a broader perspective, life has many aspects, what you have done is that you have given this aspect of relationships the top priority. That’s a big mistake.

Stupid mindset 4

I won’t get anyone else like that person, this is one of the most stupid mindset, anyone can have, don’t get offended if you have it right now.

How to solve it?

Just understand, we have 7.8 billion of population, and there are so many people with the same physical and mental or personality traits, so just chill out!!!
Next thing, even when you were in a relationship or friendship, you still were fascinated by these Instagram models and celebrities, powerful personalities of the opposite gender, so just chill.

Ultimate solution

1) Kill the hope

If you are watching any videos on YouTube or reading articles to get that person back, you are just putting yourself in a miserable place every day. So firstly stop yourself and kill all the hopes.
Block that person from all social media apps, and you’ll find an instant difference in your mood once you release yourself from that endless pursuit of getting that person back, you’ll feel free.

2) Cleanse your subconscious

Now if you are constantly giving Rom-Com movies and Bollywood or Hollywood romantic songs to your subconscious then you are seeing those stories with a happy ending and generating a lot of expectations and recollecting all the details of the good moments you had again. So from now on, play some hardcore Eminem, motivational music or Mozart, anything except Romance.

3) Find yourself

By this I mean, give importance to every other aspect of life like health, career, hobbies, passion. Discover yourself, try different things that give you pleasure, bring a structure and discipline to your life which will boost your self-esteem, self-respect and eventually you’ll heal.

The Final Lesson,

I’ll tell you how to take the event that happened, as a lesson, and not to look at it as a painful experience.
Firstly, the most important lesson that you have learned is that don’t give relationships your top priority, yes it is important, but it is a small aspect of life, not your whole life.
Now you won’t give away your emotions so easily to anyone, you’ll see the effort level from him/her, compatibility with your partner.

From now on you’ll get into the pursuit of becoming better every day, pick a craft that you have to achieve greatness in, become physically, mentally, spiritually stronger.
By this, you’ll have different light and energy in you, and let me tell you about humans:
We, humans, tend to gravitate towards positive people.
So I would end this article by saying Rise and shine.


Bharti mandar Godbole
8 June 2020 at 10:47 am

Good one

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